No Parents “Hey Grandma” (2016)
Ring the Alarm
Buy: Qobuz (FLAC,MP3) | Apple Music | Amazon MP3
Am I only writing about punk Christmas songs now? What is my deal? I don’t think I’m feeling particularly aggro – I would characterize myself as largely anxious these day. However, something about these songs is hooking me these days. Maybe I don’t want people to feel comfortable while listening to Christmas music this year… to take anything at all at face value, to no longer expect that things will be the way you expect them. I mean, the last “Christmas song” I talked about had “bitchy fits,” and this banger from LA’s No Parents has them calling grandma a cunt. Yes, you read that right. “Hey Grandma” is about that the protagonist (let’s just call him the singer) is in a punk band, selling the violin he got for Christmas to get drunk, and that his grandma thinks he’s his Uncle. Yes, and he calls her a cunt. All of this comes with some wonderful driving guitars, and also… with an oddly beautiful (and equally long) piano, strings, and choir intro. Weird huh? You are going to hit play, and perhaps wonder if you clicked on the right song. You did. This song is something else.
Bottom Line: This song could lead off a Christmas mix that would piss a few folks off, and delight others in equal measure.
LISTEN
Prince Daddy & The Hyena “If I’m Still Broke By Christmas” (2017)
Death Protector Collective
Buy: Bandcamp (NYOP)
Sometimes you want something a bit harder, but you don’t need another song about the apocalypse or how Christmas totally sucks. Luckily, back in 2017, Albany, NY punk band Prince Daddy & The Hyena dropped the deceptively sweet “If I’m Still Broke By Christmas.” Who knew that I’d love a punk rock Christmas song with a line like “I know it takes a while / To snap me out of bitchy fits.” No doubt the first Christmas song with the phrase “bitchy fits” in it; I’m pretty confident about that. The song continues with “But I really like your smile / Regardless of the mood i’m in,” which is pretty fucking heartwarming. Don’t get too cozy though – we’re leading up to lots of screeching guitars, particularly after this last bit…
If I’m still broke by Christmas
I know, it sounds, a little fucked
I think you’ll like the solo coming up
<commence air guitars…… now>
If you’re like me, you’re in agreement with the singer, loving the solo, and have already forgotten this is a Christmas song.
Looks like Prince Daddy & The Hyena are also on tour right now, should you have a few bucks and dig their vibe.
Bottom Line: A mixworthy tune with that perfect juxtaposition of punk rock and true love.
LISTEN
Robert Earl Thomas “Merry Christmas from the Silhouette Lounge” (2024)
Le Tex Recs
Buy: Bandcamp
Sometimes little things grab you, and that grip can be enough to keep you coming back. A little dopamine hit, an acknowledgement that you found something you truly enjoy. Those fluttering saxophone lines (saxophone, right? Am I crazy to be second-guessing myself?)… those saxophones are the hook that reeled me in on Robert Earl Thomas‘ “Merry Christmas from the Silhouette Lounge.” A gentle song about a gambling addict on Christmas, the song has a warm sadness. I could see this song pairing well with Tom Waits’ “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneopolis”… Truly a grower; give it a few listens.
Of note – this is a somewhat high-profile indie Christmas song to slip by for nearly two years now. I mean, Robert Earl Thomas is half of the excellent Captured Tracks’ band Widowspeak! By my calculations, only the excellent START TRACK blog has highlighted this song. Heck, and I didn’t even discover this song through them – it was just a random search! Finding these songs is hard, man. There’s another holiday track by R.E.T. as well, a serviceable cover of Tom Petty’s “Christmas All Over Again.” I’ll drop that below as well.
Bottom Line: If you aren’t feeling the first 30 seconds, just wait for the chorus. Better yet, wait for that second chorus… It’s gonna pay off. I just know it.
LISTEN
Morning River Band “The Christmas Spirit” (2007)
Self Released
Buy: Stream
New Jersey’s Morning River Band somehow wrote a song back in 2007 that feels more 2026 than anything else I’ve heard so far this year. An alt.country downer of a song for a downer of year, they captured something sadly timeless. The last two verses really hit me.
There’ll be no present ‘neath the tree tomorrow
Dirt and dust and ash is all we’ll find
’cause Santa Claus can’t save us from each other
And Jesus Christ won’t wash away our lies.
Oh, I wish you all a very merry Christmas
Spread the joy this season claims to bring
But don’t expect to hear a round of classic carols
Those too scared to speak refuse to sing
“Those too scared to speak refuse to sing”… What a killer line for sunken times. All I can think of is Trump’s tour of “retribution,” and the fear it has instilled in so many critics, media outlets, universities, and just plain old folks who are trying to keep off his radar.
Three weeks. Three weeks. Three weeks.
Bottom Line: A time-traveling song for your 2026 mix, especially if shit goes sideways.
LISTEN
Eckhardt And The House “Eternity (Xmas Edition)” feat. Marleen Scholten (2015)
TCBYML
Buy: Qobuz (MP3/FLAC) | Amazon MP3 | Amazon.uk MP3 | Amazon.de MP3 | Amazon.fr MP3
You know, I’m not angry… I’m disappointed. Well, maybe a litttle bit angry. The Dutch label TCBYML (This Could Be Your Music Label) used to be one of those labels you could rely on for a Christmas song every year or so, likely from a cool Dutch band – which is right in my wheelhouse. However, over the past year or so… TCBYML appear to be largely releasing AI-slop bands with fake backstories. I struggle to find whether any of these bands play out, and their artwork and band photos look suspiciously AI-generated. The bands’ social media posts often highlight radio stations and playlists that have picked up their tracks, which leaves me wondering if any of these places take the two minutes needed to check out these bands before they platform them. I do (unfortunately) see a future where AI invades nearly everything in our lives, but I find this possible deception – when folks pretend AI-prompt music is real, human-played music – (should it be true) to be pretty despicable. You make great AI music? Fantastic, more power to you – I certainly don’t know how to do that. Just don’t pretend you are something, or someone, you are not.
I may have expressed myself and these feelings on their Facebook page… and they deleted my “That’s some great AI-music” post and banned me. Classy!
So let’s go back in time… to when TCBYML released human beings who also made music, and listen to this lovely song by the Dutch artist Eckhardt And The House, “Eternity (Xmas Edition).” The song is based on a Rainer Maria Rilke poem and features the gorgeous voice of Dutch actress Marleen Scholten, whose fragile vocals beautifully complement the lush orchestration laid down by fellow actor & musician Rik Elstgeest (aka Eckhardt And The House). These horns will hook you, Marleen will take your hand, and you’ll stroll through the song to the beat of your heart. I don’t know how I managed to not feature this song back in the day… Christmas a Gogo found the time in 2017, so I’m only a few years late!
Disclaimer: I can’t categorically prove that TCBYML is only releasing AI-slop. This is an informed opinion, not a stated fact.
Bottom Line: A wonderful song made by wonderful human beings! It can be done – TCBYML (likely) just forgot.
LISTEN
High Tropics “Got a Message for Santa” (2025)
indiemono
Buy: Qobuz (FLAC) | Apple Music | Amazon MP3 | Amazon.uk MP3
The High Tropics threw a new song at us at the end of last season, and unfortunately I often lack the opportunity (or energy) in those busy final days to write about all the deserving new music that gets released. But please, don’t take my laziness as any sort of judgement against a song – an “it’s not you (the song), it’s me” scenario.
I hope you have had a moment to check out the High Tropics’ previous Christmas tunes, as I heaped a good bit of praise on them last year – right before they released this latest song! “Got a Message for Santa” has a distinctly different, non-Strokes-y vibe. Yeah, that Casablancas-esque casual vocal delivery is still there, but those bongos and synthesized backing vocals paint a very different picture from those earlier High Tropics’ seasonal gems. This song is less indie rock, and a bit more pop – but don’t worry, plenty of folks aren’t going to appreciate the lines about “getting high” mixed into their family get-together soundtrack – take that squares! This song may sound sweet, but it has enough bite to keep your badass alternative Christmas cred intact.
Bottom Line: Yet another solid seasonal tune from this Aussie band, who are now 3-for-3 if my calculations are correct. Just got to carry the one…..
LISTEN
UPCOMING: Sufjan Stevens – Worst Christmas Ever! (11/6/2026)
Asthmatic Kitty
Buy: Asthmatic Kitty | Bandcamp | Rough Trade Exclusive Variant | Dinked
Well… Hi there.
I’m back, ready to write about some Christmas tunes, fret about the world we live in, and make an attempt not to take each day for granted… as we wait for the AI-apocalypse.
Sufjan Stevens is back too… with a bunch old songs, and a small sprinkling of new. Announced today, the new compilation LP, Worst Christmas Ever!, pulls together some of (what they consider to be) Sufjan’s best Christmas songs onto one album. I imagine this is a better physical-media listening experience than most of the EPs, which require lots of flipping, swapping and listening to some of those throw-away tracks.
Now for the main reason to consider this record… the new song. Technically… there are 2 new songs, one original and one cover. The original, “On This Christmas (It Only Gets Better)” is included on the LP, as well as on a limited 7″ only available from the label (as a bundle) and some select stores to be named later. The 7″ is really where it is at… as it has an additional unreleased song, a cover of “Christmas Time is Here.”
I sure would love to just buy that 7″… I will wager that I’m going to pass on this bundle (which would set me back nearly $50) in the hopes of grabbing that 7″ elsewhere… and it is going to slip by me. I waited on the vinyl box sets as well, and regretted that too.
Will I learn from my past mistakes? I’m human, and American… so probably not.
EDIT: There are a few additional versions out there – variants via Rough Trade and a Dinked Edition (which has exclusive stickers and a different vinyl colorway) so far. I’m sure there will be more.
Bottom Line: I’m equal parts intrigued and conflicted (Do I need to buy these songs again?) and waiting for my $5000 check from Daddy Trump. Oh orange god-man, please give me money to buy records. I will let you destroy everything for record money…
(If you don’t sense the sarcasm… I assure you it is there.)
LISTEN
Here’s a teaser.
Beep Beep.
Merry Christmas + Happy New Year
Christmas has happened, and the New Year is nearly here.
Thank you all for reading this silly thing for yet another year. I’m not saying I won’t pop back in here on occasion, but it sure feels different writing when you know there might be someone on the other end reading… and there is a season for folks checking out my little corner of the internet. I do love hearing from folks who share this very, very niche interest, so thank you especially to those who dropped me notes, comments, and Ko-Fi’s this year. Knowing that anyone cares… that is what keeps this little site going.
This year is going to be wild. Stay safe.
