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You know how sometimes you love something… and you absolutely know that most people are going to think you are just fucking bonkers? Let me introduce you to “Christmas Cowboy” by Thermos Grenadine, a five-foot-tall, synthesizer-playing animatronic orange dog. Well… Thermos Grenadine could very well also be Richmond, Virginia’s Lil Ugly Mane, as they appear on stage together and he sounds a good bit like Lil Ugly Mane. Known as a pioneer in what has become known as Soundcloud rap, Lil Ugly Mane is eclectic, with influential early underground rap records, and recent releases that steer closer to indie rock. The Thermos Grenadine moniker appears to be more synth-based (obviously, as this is the chosen instrument of the giant dog) and is absolutely fascinating, confusing, and weirdly wonderful. I couldn’t get past the lyrics… they are like fly tape, to which I’ll likely perish. My favorite bit follows…
When I was four / I fell off forty horses one-by-one / they stepped on both my hands.
I gave my mommy / fifty basset hounds / and they burned down every acre of her land.
I’ve got Egypt in my pheromones / I’ve been to Cairo on a plane
Potato chips are in my pockets / but I’m here still playing possum with my brain.
Bottom Line: This thing is bonkers and I love it. There is no way this is an actual Christmas song. But hey, it counts. Dem’s the rules.