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Christmas Underground, as badass as I obviously am — I eat glass for breakfast — is not exactly overflowing with punk rock Christmas songs. I’m probably more likely to write about some twee band from Antwerp than a punk outfit from Washington, D.C.
Often, punk rock Christmas songs fall into the Blink-182 lane — and while I know that’s many folks’ jam, it just isn’t mine. I like punk rock that leans toward its cousin, garage rock — the kind with lo-fi production and fuzzy guitars, like Idaho Green or Stephan and Johnny.
Well, add a new name to that list, because this new song by Washington, D.C.’s Teen Mortgage is fucking fantastic. “Below the Christmas Tree” piles angular guitar riffs over a driving, fuzzy bassline — straight to the heart of this lowly Christmas blogger.
The music will hook you, but the lyrics will reel you in. A satirical anti-war song, it leaves you sitting in the simple decadence of a Christmas at the end of the world. World War III is upon us, and we’re moments away from destruction — so I got you a pair of turtle doves.
Well, open up your gifts now
Before they get turned into dust
Just forget all of those mushroom clouds
Becoming proper humongous.
Fucking hell. This song better remain satirical and not literal. I like the groove either way I guess…
Bottom Line: Absolutely stellar punk rock Christmas. If all punk rock songs were like this, I would run a punk rock Christmas music blog.
Christmas Underground 